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Posts Tagged ‘love’

Dear friends,

I have hearing problems not hard of hearing or deaf just having issues. On my long drive home I tend to imagine different scenarios and how they would play out in my head. Maybe you do this then you get to the place and the people TOTALLY don’t follow the script you outlined in your head. Well today I was imagining how things would happen if I were to lose my hearing completely and rely on sign language or writing to communicate with people. Te good news? I already know how to sign for the most part. The bad almost no one in my friends or family knows how to sign, and those who can have a limited vocabulary. I was thinking about it, and it would totally suck that relationships with certain people were cut off. However, it would be a good test to see who is genuine. Then I begin thinking about some of the Deaf people I know, and my church’s “Deaf Ministry”* and my heart began to break. We (at least those of you who share in a relationship with Christ) have the greatest news on earth and this amazing, beautiful community does not know it because we want them to look like us, or talk, or read our lips. We place labels like “hearing impaired” or “handicapped” passing judgement without getting to know the brilliant people. What are the results? Over 95% have never been exposed to the gospel…why? Because we want them to do all the work while we sit in our comfy bubble waiting for them to come. Last I checked the great commission was to “Go into all the world…” (Matthew 28) not to “Wait for the world to learn how to look, act, and talk like we do before telling them the glorious news.” It is glorious news isn’t it? We who are have done many things wrong can find forgiveness and love from an almighty, holy God. Maybe you are saying, “Well, that is all fine and dandy, but I don’t know any Deaf people.” Learn a little sign and see what happens, you may be surprised that you meet a few.

Sincerely, Chloe

*The reason I have Deaf Ministry in quotations is because it is lacking. We have a few interpreters who had a little sign instruction many years ago and thus interpret Sunday mornings. I used to help with that, but lately I am not because I miss things when I am not looking at the pastor so I have stopped letting the others go ahead.

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God’s grace

Dear Friends,
I am yet again surprised by God’s grace and love. Let me explain.
For a long time I have wondered why I am so terrified of so many things, and the light was shed and it wasn’t pretty. It was plain and simple, pride, selfishness, and any number of other things. It was and is quite horrible, the whole reason I do something or don’t do something is because I am looking out for number one… Nearly everything I had ever done in regards to my Christian life, selfishness. I felt incredibly guilty, and rightly so, I am guilty of that and so much more. The next day during what is usually my daily time with God, I didn’t know what to do or to say because I did not want to do something for myself, so I sat there for awhile not really thinking just feeling incredibly awkward. Eventually the silence was broken by that still small voice calling to me. I was guilty and I wanted to hide, but His light was too brilliant, so I listened. To my complete shock He did not condemn, though He had every right to, He did not condone either because He is righteous and my attitude and thoughts were definitely not. Instead He invited, He invited me once again to live a different kind of life. I felt very much like the adulterous woman that Jesus forgave, when He invited her to live a different life (John 8.1-11) I share this with you today because maybe some of you are trapped in something, maybe it is selfishness and pride, maybe pornography, maybe drugs, anything, maybe you are afraid to go before God because you know you are guilty, don’t be afraid to go to Him and be honest before Him. See the life He is inviting you to live today.
Sincerely, Chloe

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Dear friends,

It’s time for some real talk.  Today, my good friend told me about something that she read.  I don’t remember exactly what it said, but this is more or less the gist of it.  We, in the American culture, look down on polygamy, but there are many who practice it these days.  You see so many are getting divorced these days then remarrying.  If God’s intention was for marriage to be life long (and this is fair because the statistics are just as saddening from those who profess to be Christian), then it should not be thrown out when times get hard (think of for better or for worse).  Paul encourages to hang on in marriage even if the other is not a believer (1 Corinthians 7.10-14) .  I would say our Western culture should be ashamed, we spit condemnation on polygamists, while we look over our own who are participating in it.  If you get divorced and remarried, I am sorry, but that means you have had two spouses.

Now before you go and think that I am some sheltered freak show who has no idea what she is talking about, I take you to my family.  In March of 2011 my parents filed for divorce and went through the painful process last year.  It climaxed in their court date in September, there was some issues with the paper work and the judge threw out the petition.  They filed again this past March about two days after the year anniversary.  I hear the word family and I am in some hot mess between cold blood and white hot anger.  Oh ya my family at one point in time was Christian.  When I was little we used to read the Bible together, twice a day as I recall (it’s been a few years so don’t hold me to that). Then my parents started fighting, and my dad took a job that paid more but required quite a bit of travel, he was home some, but when he was they would fight.  I remember being maybe five or six on the top bunk crying and plugging my ears as their shouts grew louder.  My dad started traveling more and more.  By the time moved out I only saw him about once a month, he helped me move so they could divorce a little more smoothly, and I appreciate that.  Being an adult does not make your parents divorcing any easier, just ask my older siblings.

Marriage is supposed to be a picture of God’s relationship with us, and right now we are really screwing with it.  When we as Christians get married and divorce what does that say about God and His relations with us. We are called to live as representatives of Him, but we make Him look weak, bad, uncommitted when nothing could be further from the truth.

Now this is not to let anyone off the hook. God, knows we have contributed our fair share to the mess of families, and we must take responsibility for our actions.  There is a greater, and much darker force behind this as well who is grinning at every divorce, suicide, and abandonment.  That is Satan.  Don’t believe me? Don’t think he cares to attack family? Let’s look at Genesis 3 where he tempts the woman (don’t forget the man was there too), and what happened they started blaming each other, sounds like a lot of marriages these days.  Consider the next chapter where Cain kills Abel (if I was honest there were many times I wanted to kill my siblings). The point is Satan is anti-family.  Ephesians 6.12 tells us, “Our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers of this present darkness, and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” This is not to deny our own responsibility for our actions, but to remember that sometimes perception does not equal reality, and Satan is actively working against families.

So this is a call to action, for every struggling family, married couple, for the broken-hearted child of parents divorcing, for the family that still stands strong, to those without a family, for the wife of the man who left her (or vice verse), and to any who do not fall into any of those categories.  We need to fight, we need to pray, and we need to stand together united on behalf of families.  Do you know someone who is being impacted by a divorce in the family?  Pray for them. Are you in the struggling marriage? Pray. We need to stand against Satan and his blatant attacks on family.  To be blunt we need to kick him in the balls and tell him to piss off.  We have the victory so we need to claim it.  This is a call to fight for what is important, whether you have a family or not.

The first thing I want to do is pray for you if that is alright.  I want to pray for you in your situation and for a God intervention.

The second thing I would like to ask is if I you would like to hear the song, (or read the lyrics if I can’t figure out how to work my stupid camera)? It is more or less my story wrapped up with where God has taken me.

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Taken

Dear Friend,

I highly recommend this movie, but not to younger audiences.  If you do not know the story of Taken it is fairly simple and yet exceedingly complex. It starts at a girl’s birthday party, and a clearly broken home. Wanting to go Europe, the girl lies to her father saying she will be going to museums.  He finds out but begrudgingly allows her to go.  While there, she is talking to the father on the phone and sees her friend get kidnapped then the people come for her.  Still on the phone, her father tells her to hide under a bed and shout out their descriptions.  I love the story because of the parallels to God’s love for us and His pursuing us, fighting for us, dying for us even when we don’t deserve it.  There is a fair amount of violence and the story deals with sex trafficking so keep that in mind, but I think the underlying theme of the father’s relentless pursuit of her is something that everyone should experience.

Sincerely, Chloe

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Dear friend,

I have delayed this post for a long time.  This is written more or less to some people who have hurt me and such, read if you so desire.

I blamed you for a lot of things, it is easier sometimes.  I blamed you for anger, depression, and even my own actions.  You left us. I thought I had a right, and perhaps I did. However, the damage done to my heart cannot be blamed on you because you did not do it.  I am sorry I ever blamed you, was angry with you, and wanted to cut you off.  I cannot blame you because you did not do this to me.  In my own sickness and depravity I, myself, inflicted this on me, and in that same disease I blamed you.  I cannot begin to express my deep sorrow over what was done.  Maybe one day God will grant me the strength to face you and tell you this.

I blamed you, in my sickness.  I told the lie so many times I began to believe it.  I blamed you for stealing my innocence, but I do not think I had any left by the time you came, not that I fully understood everything.  I am sorry that I have blamed you for so many years.  A convenient lie I told, not that you would ever know.

My gracious Father, I am sorry for not forgiving them made evident in my blaming them.  Please give us the strength and opportunity to reconcile.  You, God, have shown yourself through the ages as a reconciler.  Lord, forgive us and help us to forgive the same way.  In Jesus name AMEN!

-Sincerely, Chloe

Ps: I am praying about posting my testimony, though I am hesitant because I wonder sometimes.  Let me know what you think please

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Dear Friend,

I come from a broken home to say the least, worse we all pretended that we were “ok” while inside we were dying.  Love was there just not expressed and after everything that has happened I can honestly say that despite the hurts I love them all.  I will say this that after seeing what my family has gone through and the often misguided actions of my parents and siblings I still think that I want to be married.  I heard someone once say that divorce is almost hereditary, if your parents divorce, you will divorce.  It made me want to run and hide from the thought of marrying simply because of that.  Is there really no hope?  My entire family is depression prone, we all fall into it, but by the grace of God, despite my past He has allowed me to rise above it, He rescued me.  I want to get married now because I want to be the other statistic, the one that makes it the one that rises above the broken past.  I want to minister to the children of broken families, I want to encourage people to keep on trucking.  It broke my heart a few weeks ago when we prayed in small groups at youth (I am one of the youth leaders at my church) and every single kid prayed for their family.  What is happening here? I want to get married not to fill some void, but maybe to hopefully point people to Christ, I want to show them that God is able to heal the wounds of your past. Even as I write this at 3:15 am I can’t help but cry a little to see my family falling apart.  Rest assured that just because you come from a broken home, it does not mean that you have to lead a broken life.  Allow Jesus to help you rise above  your past, heal you, forgive you, and free you.

This easter I am going home and I would greatly appreciate your prayers, I have a bad (ok good) feeling that God is going to use me to speak to them and maybe just maybe He can use me and maybe just maybe someone else in my family will find healing in Jesus.

Sincerely, Chloe

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What if?

Dear Friend,

This issue has been on my heart for quite some time and I intend to act upon it Monday evening.  There is a serious problem with our church.  We have become a people so bent on behaving properly that when people struggle,  no one knows let alone helps the person out of his issue.  What if when a brother or sister in Christ fell we responded appropriately and helped restore their relationship with Christ? What if instead of drilling into the heads of our church goers that Jesus loves them we rallied together and showed everyone else the all-consuming love of Jesus? The people that need Jesus the most are the ones who are over-looked or judged out of the church.  This should not be! I hope and pray that when the time comes for me to speak this to others they are open, receptive and moved to action.

Sincerely, Chloe

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