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Posts Tagged ‘music’

New YouTube Chann

Dear Friends,

I have been writing music for awhile and I want to share it with you. This song was written shortly after the shooting in Connecticut and hearing other tragic stories. In light of the recent tragedies in Boston and Texas, it is time I make the song available. I hope you find encouragement from the song, “So Many”

Sincerely, Chloe

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Dear Friends,

The time is nearing when I may have the opportunity to finally reconcile with my dad.  This both excites me and terrifies me.  You see we have had a strained relationship for many years (thus the need for reconciliation) and while things have been getting progressively better we still are not open, or at least I am not.  I keep my defenses up because truth be told I am afraid that he may reject me or that things will get worse, but that is not the only fear.

The opportunity to reconcile is going to come in the next few weeks before I ship out to work at camp.  He is coming into town for a few days in the near future, and I am praying that we might be reconciled then.  I also am hoping to invite him to visit the camp for a weekend or so while I am up there.  However all this comes with it’s own set of fears.

My dad was recently diagnosed with melanoma, while it is not terribly serious at the moment there is a very real possibility that it could spread.  So the fear that follows is that we are reconciled, our relationship restored and he dies. I keep having this recurring nightmarish vision of him dying when I am at camp and not making it back for the funeral.

I have a tendency to jump to worst case scenario, always have.  I recall talking with one of my professors, asking him to pray for me (one of the many benefits to a Christian university) because I have a lot of walls that need removing, I need to be open.  He asked if the walls were there because of past betrayal or fear of future doom.  I said the past, but in truth it is both.  There were past betrayals that made me vow never to be in that place again, but there is also a fear of a future doom that is probably not coming.

So there you have it the jacked-upness that is me the blogger

 

 

Ps: I am thinking about posting an audio link of the song that I wrote, it is kind of my story in 4 minutes. My singing voice is not fantastic nor is the quality of the recording but if you think it is a good idea please comment.

 

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